All Jokes

 

Can you sell a dead Donkey

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey.."

The farmer asked: "What ya gonna do with him?"

IF TITANIC WAS MADE IN INDIA....

1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship

2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain!

3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"

4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die in the first dip.

5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson.

6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.

Congratulations

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,

If they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

20 Years

My friend Ada was slowly recovering from a heart attack.

"Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's bar mitzvah."

"We'll try," he replied compassionately.

In due course Ada gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.

Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding."

"We'll do our best," he replied.

And my friend happily attended her granddaughter's wedding.

How to ask your boss for a salary increase

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely

Norman $oh

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply

Dear NOrman

Indian - American

An Indian migrated to America , and moved into an American neighbourhood;

His American neighbour went next door to wish him welcome.He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself.

Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.

The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.

Love In Maths

My Dear SweetHeart,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.

There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.

Manmohan Singh ki hoshiari !!!

Musharraf, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling on a train. The
train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a
kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel..

The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is
bent over holding his face, which is RED from an apparent slap. All of them
remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia's thoughts:
These Pakistanis are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharraf must have tried to
kiss her in the tunnel.
Very proper that she slapped him!

joke

sardar : oye puttar tere result ka ki hoya?
puttar : papa, is class wich ek saal aur lagega
sardar : koi gal nahi puttar, 2 saal lage ya teen fail mat hona

ha
ha
ha

Java interview by Banta

Ques: What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
Ans: Terms are different ... Nothing more

Ques: What is JFC?
Ans: Jilebi, Fanta Coffee

Ques: Explain 2-tier and 3-tier Architecture ?
Ans: Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Ques: I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
Ans: Send it through courier.

Ques: Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
Ans: As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Ques: How to communicate 2 threads each other ?